Really Bad Dad Jokes – Tell Them At Your Peril!
An embarassingly bad joke. Often demonstrated during a wedding or 18th/21st Birthday Speeches.
From telling jokes around Christmas dinner to embarrassing your kids in front of their friends, we showcase the good, the bad, and the ugliest dad jokes we could find!
(Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any cringy laughing or “Oh Dad!” comments you may receive from using these jokes!)
#1 Shoe Shop
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
#4 Rubber Toe
What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.
#7 The Penguin
How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
#8 Call Me
“Ill call you later”.
Don’t call me later – call me Dad.
#9 Police Report
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Why don’t crabs give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
Waitress: “Do you have a reservation?”
Dad: “No. I’m confident I want to eat here.”
How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles.
#13 Vacuum Cleaner
I sold my vacuum cleaner yesterday. It was just gathering dust.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean?
#15 Boiling Water
RIP boiled water. You will be mist.
What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password?
Want to hear my pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
I had seafood for dinner last night, now I’m eel.
I gave all my dead batteries away today… Free of charge.
#20 The Factory
I used to have a job at the calendar factory, but they fired me because I took a couple of days off.
#21 On The Moon
Did you hear about that new restaurant that’s opened on the moon?
The food is great – but there’s just no atmosphere.
Name something red thats bad for your teeth….
What did the grape say when it got crushed?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What sort of shorts do clouds wear?
Why did the scarecrow win lots of awards?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call dental x-rays?
Don’t fart in an Apple store…..because they don’t have Windows!
Which sport is always in trouble?
Why are stadiums always cold?
Because they have a lot of fans!
#30 Colour Blind
I’ve been diagnosed as colour blind.
It came totally out of the purple.
What’s the worst thing about history lessons?
The teachers tend to Babylon!
What language does a stomach speak?
What do you call a Bear with no ears?
Why was the picture sent to jail?
Because it was framed!
#35 Planet Earth
What did Earth say to the other planets?
You guys have no life!
What do you call an Aligator in a vest?
#37 Tick Tock
Have you ever tried to eat a clock?
Its time consuming!
How do you count cows?
With a cow-culator!
Why do keyboards never sleep?
Because they have two shifts!
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.
Then its a soap opera!
Well, that rounds up our list of 40 Dad jokes!
What’s your favourite?
If you’ve any bad Dad jokes, please tell us below!