40 Legendary Dad Jokes

Really Bad Dad Jokes – Tell Them At Your Peril!


Dad Joke:

An embarassingly bad joke. Often demonstrated during a wedding or 18th/21st Birthday Speeches.


From telling jokes around Christmas dinner to embarrassing your kids in front of their friends, we showcase the good, the bad, and the ugliest dad jokes we could find!

(Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any cringy laughing or “Oh Dad!” comments you may receive from using these jokes!)

Let’s roll…..


#1 Shoe Shop

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.


#2 Elephants

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.


#3 Sushi

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.


#4 Rubber Toe

What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.


#5 Shovel

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.


A Dad Shovel

#6 Cheese

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.


#7 The Penguin

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.


#8 Call Me

“Ill call you later”.

Don’t call me later – call me Dad.


#9 Police Report

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.


#10 Crabs

Why don’t crabs give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.



#11 Reservation

Waitress: “Do you have a reservation?”

Dad:  “No. I’m confident I want to eat here.”


#12 Octopus

How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles.


#13 Vacuum Cleaner

I sold my vacuum cleaner yesterday.  It was just gathering dust.


#14 Ocean

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean?



#15 Boiling Water

RIP boiled water. You will be mist.


#16 Password

What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password?



#17 Pizza

Want to hear my pizza joke?

Never mind, it’s too cheesy.


Yummy Pizza

#18 Seafood

I had seafood for dinner last night, now I’m eel.


#19 Batteries

I gave all my dead batteries away today… Free of charge.


#20 The Factory

I used to have a job at the calendar factory, but they fired me because I took a couple of days off.


#21 On The Moon

Did you hear about that new restaurant that’s opened on the moon?

The food is great – but there’s just no atmosphere.


#22 Teeth

Name something red thats bad for your teeth….



#23 Grapes

What did the grape say when it got crushed?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.


#24 Clouds

What sort of shorts do clouds wear?



#25 Scarecrows

Why did the scarecrow win lots of awards?

Because he was outstanding in his field.



#26 X-Ray

What do you call dental x-rays?



#27 Apple

Don’t fart in an Apple store…..because they don’t have Windows!


#28 Badminton

Which sport is always in trouble?



#29 Stadiums

Why are stadiums always cold?

Because they have a lot of fans!


#30 Colour Blind

I’ve been diagnosed as colour blind.

It came totally out of the purple.


#31 History

What’s the worst thing about history lessons?

The teachers tend to Babylon!


#32 Language

What language does a stomach speak?



#33 Bears

What do you call a Bear with no ears?



#34 Jail

Why was the picture sent to jail?

Because it was framed!


#35 Planet Earth

What did Earth say to the other planets?

You guys have no life!


#36 Aligator

What do you call an Aligator in a vest?

An Investigator!



#37 Tick Tock

Have you ever tried to eat a clock?

Its time consuming!


#38 Cows

How do you count cows?

With a cow-culator!


#39 Keyboards

Why do keyboards never sleep?

Because they have two shifts!


#40 Singing

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.

Then its a soap opera!


Well, that rounds up our list of 40 Dad jokes!

What’s your favourite?

If you’ve any bad Dad jokes, please tell us below!

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